Posts Tagged ‘funny japan’

Hello bitches!

You know I say that with nothing but affection for all of yous.

Well times they are a changing at japanasty.com

Am currently in an overhaul phase.

Locked up the twitter account.

So now only the chosen few will get access to my nuggets of wisdom.

Am in the process of locking down a deal to get some swag.

Am thinking of first starting out with some coffee mugs and we will see where it goes from there.

The sky is the limit when it comes to swag.

Oh ya almost forgot the website japanasty.com is on the first phase of lock down also.

Free ride is over bitches!

Just working on the back end right now getting all the goodies lined up.

It is going to be fucking awesome!

Stay tuned!

Now for anyone whom as ever made the trip over here to Japan one thing that pretty  much everyone and their dog notices is the over abundance of high end brand items.

You would be pretty hard pressed to not walk down the streets of any city and see those damn ugly brown and gold LV bags.

Be it purses,wallets, backpacks you name it you will see the brown ugliness pretty much everywhere you look.

Now if you are completely unfamiliar with the Japanese culture and live for example in the United States your first thought would be man there is a whole shit load of fake LV over here.

Well I am not naive enough to not think that some of them yes are knock offs but a vast majority of them are real as the day is long.

Which would leave on to think then how the hell are they able to afford all of that stuff?

Well folks the reality is that most Japanese live with their folks rent free and when I say rent free I mean an all inclusive package.

Their mama’s still do their laundry prepare their lunches and some even pay for their cell phones.

Yet they are working at a full time job bringing in around 2-3 grand a month

Yes folks life ain’t so bad in Japan.

So with that kind of cash lying around they can afford to pay the outrageous prices for that brown ugliness.

That and eat out and go drinking pretty much anytime they want.

Now some of you might be thinking well what happens if you get yourself a girlfriend or boyfriend.

Well that ain’t a problem over here either since Japan has you covered via their love hotels.

The hotels that you rent by the hour to do the deed.

Since chances are if your mother is a house wife she ain’t going to be going out for any extended periods of time that you can get together with your significant other and bump uglies.
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Well there is definitely no doubt what  number 1 is or shall I say was.

1. Gimp Ultimate fighting.

Had Sky Perfect (satellite in Japan) a few years back and was flipping through the channels when I came across this gem.

To be honest the film quality was that of a European snuff flick. Dark lighting and very poor picture quality. So there they are two guys sitting in the ring or square or what ever the fuck it was. Any how they were both sitting on their asses on some wrestling mats. One guy had his legs tapped together and had some UFC style fighting mitts on. While the other guy had no fucking legs! I shit you not. He did have some fighting mitts on though. So then this guy comes out in a striped referee and yells lets get it on (ok that part did not happen but it sure makes for a fucking kick ass story doesn’t it)  So needless to stay these 2 guys are sliding around on the mats trying to beat the shit out of each other. So I grabbed some Dorito’s and my cold Asahi and hunkered  down for the freak show. Man that shit was just plain ass disturbing but that didn’t prevent me from watching every single fucking minute of it. Good times!

2. Now this shit happened way back when I first came to check out Japan around 10 years ago. For all of you soccer or football fans out there this will show you what it is really like over here.

Now for anyone who follows that lame ass sport known as soccer there are some over zealous fans perhaps in Europe? aka hooligans some might say…

Well the Japanese media got a whiff and got the Japanese people in a frenzy about all of the hooligans coming to Japan to watch soccer?? Ya right unemployed alcoholics whom live in Europe are suddenly going to be able to scrounge together enough money to fly, stay and watch a soccer match in Japan. Not bloody likely.

So on the evening news there was this reporter who took it upon himself to go up to Caucasian males walking down the streets of Tokyo with their team jersey on and ask them. And I quote “are you a hooligan?” Good times in Japan oh ya.

3. This was actually a show that I quite enjoyed but went off the air a few years back for the life of me I can’t remember the name of it but I always referred to it as the “bimbo show.”

Now before you get all hot and bothered “bimbo” in Japan means broke ass poor. Since as I always says there ain’t nothing more funny that laughing at others misfortune. Good times!

So the premise of the show was these hosts went on a hunt to see who could find the person living in the most squalled shanty town style housing imaginable.

Then they would all meet up on the show and show their finds to the masses. And have themselves a good old laugh. And the host that found the worst living conditions won.

Hmm I often wonder why this type of show never made it back home in  the U.S.??  Since it had all of the features of a great show.  Funny check entertaining checkaroo degrading and inhumane… hmmm maybe that is the problem.

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